Don't plan everything out.

I just finished a massive day of work building a new shelving system for my parent's business that utilizes a lot of the wasted space before. 

I haven't been super proficient in planning margin into my life, and I've had areas where I drastically underestimate the time or effort it takes to do certain projects. In my personal projects, it doesn't matter as much, but in the cases where it directly affects another person, planning margin into your task will give you wiggle room for life to happen. 

For this shelving project, I decided to take that to heart and found my expected budget and added about 25% margin and materials to my total cost. This would account for things like unexpected prices, taxes, or additional supplies. I thought it was a bit difficult, not saying it could only be done at that higher cost; I was setting my expectations so that I would either come out as the expected cost or below. 

In phycology, there is something called loss aversion where we do our utmost to avoid losing something. So if I were to promise a bit and fall short of the promise, I am taking away from the expected product. Whereas if I promise below my expected outcome, then I give something that wasn't expected. 

In this project, I actually came under my expected budget by finding cheaper building materials that were more than sufficient for my need.

Key takeaways:

1) Don't plan out your every minute

2) Build in a 20% margin to your expected outcome

3) Falling short of a high promise is physiologically taking something away

3) With margin, you exceed or come in at your promise

Judge a book by it's cover

Earlier in the year, I had a conversation with my sister where I was excitedly discussing a new insight and victory I won in my head. She responded with something that really opened my eyes to a new concept I hadn't really thought about. She basically said that 'you may have won the battle in your head, but no one sees that.'

After mulling around with the idea, I came to realize for the first time that my self-inward battles didn't matter. It's what I did with them that made the difference. No one sees the inward fights; they only see what I produce on the outside. My actions were what mattered to those around me, not my intentions. If I failed regularly, and my intentions were good, that means squat to the person I failed. 

I've found that you have to make the change outwardly for your battle to mean something to others. To make a bigger difference, I had to show who I had become because of it. I loved how Rabbi Daniel Lapin put it in his book 'Thou Shall Prosper' when speaking on this matter. He says that someone with ill intent to you accidentally aids you, you are in debt to them for the service. It doesn't matter that they intended to harm you. 

A few months back, I was really wrestling with the problem of whether or not to volunteer at a Christian ministry, and my biggest question I was struggling with was my intention. Would it be good to serve others if I am doing it for myself? Who was I doing it for? Does it matter if I was going there for my own gain? And I've really come to realize that the intention is only between yourself and God; serving to grow myself may open me to serving for the sole purpose of serving God. We change, and our intentions don't matter as much as what we actually do.

1) Judge people on what they produce, not their intention

2) Intentions don't matter as much as what you actually do

3) Someone with ill intent toward you that does you a good deed by mistake, you are in their debt. 

You can't find your meaning and stability in something that changes.

Through reading the book, 'The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People' Stephen Covey talks about where you find your meaning and what you set your self worth in.

He wrote that you could not put your self worth in things that change. If you were to find your self worth in your relationship with your parents or even spouse, then your worth and performance would depend on how they viewed you and felt in the moment. You make decisions on where you find your meaning or focused attention, what you value. If it's in a changing entity, you are living your life off of chance. 

Finding your value in an unchanging being, you are stabilizing your life and your ideals. Your decisions are based on strong and security, something that doesn't get affected by the moment. 

Key takeaways:

1) You find meaning and purpose in what you value most

2) If you find value in things that change, so also do you

3) Build stability by placing your value in things that never change

While reading 'The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,' I made an enormous breakthrough in my purpose statement!

The past few weeks, I've been absolutely wracked with trying to find my purpose. Purpose, in this case, is what I was set to do on this earth specifically. 

I was reading through a portion of the book talking about service and being a gofer (someone who goes for something) and very effective people's attitude. He gave an excellent example of a business situation where multiple people under a boss would constantly speak behind his back without trying to find solutions. One man saw the flaws in his boss that the others were talking about, but instead of engaging in the conversation, he decided to be pro-active and serve his boss's needs with an additional report and his thoughts on solutions. He got the same treatment at first and didn't get any appreciation or recognition for what he did. However, after he did this consistently, his boss started to look forward to the additional work and started asking his thoughts on what should be done. He filled a spot for his boss and focused more on his efforts in other areas. This man eventually got more responsibility and was put in charge of many of his previous peers. 

I got an absolute thrill from this story, and it almost brought a tear to my eye. That was precisely what I think my purpose is. Serving, but not just serving, serving effectively. After thinking about it for several hours, I realized that I want to become a Joseph, not a Pharoah. Whether in the house of Potiphar, in jail, or as Pharoah's right-hand man, I am created to be an effective servant, and it is my duty to serve to the best of my ability. 

I do not doubt that my purpose statement will change and morph as time goes on, but I know it is the start of the right track. 

Key Takeaways:

1) Through reading a story, I found my purpose statement

2) I am created to be not just a servant, but an effective servant

3) I discovered I don't want to become Pharoah; I am more than happy becoming a Joseph 

Will power use a usable entity and cannot be lived on alone.

At the beginning of this year, I weighed nearly 300lbs and tried many different diets to get into shape. Many of the plans I tried worked for a short period of time, but eventually, I gave into my desires and gained back my weight plus a few pounds for my effort. 

I eventually found a plan that worked and got me to lose 100lbs over 8 months, and the thing that made the difference between this one vs. the other's was how they talked about willpower and how it works. I would try to stick to the plan only through willpower alone, deciding at the moment to eat my food or not. What made this diet different was explaining how willpower really worked and planning so that it doesn't affect you.

Our will power is renewable; we get a fresh tank every day. When we deplete our will power, it's harder to say no to our desire for instant gratification. You want to take the decision making out of the equation; you want to make it easier to do the right thing than that which you happen to feel like. 

In the plan, I used it to write down and plan your food a day in advance. Every night I would prep my meal for the following day and only eat it and nothing else. This made it easy to eat right, as I didn't have to decide at the moment when I was hungry. I already knew what I was going to eat, and it was ready for me.  

Key takeaways:

1) Will power is renewable and gets used from focus

2) will power into account when planning something hard

3) Set yourself up so that you don't have to decide at the moment

Write down your ideas to clear your mind.

I've found that oftentimes when I try to be super focused in one area, my mind will go to different things other than that which I'm trying to concentrate on. One of the most helpful tips I've adapted and found works really well for better focus is writing down what your mind tries to go to. 

I originally heard that if you've got a song stuck in your head and cannot get it out if you listen to that song, it will often release you from that loop. I applied it to my thoughts that interrupt my train of thought and found it actually works quite well. By writing down the ideas that are constantly going around my head, I am basically telling myself that I acknowledge the idea and filed it away for later research. 

Trying to push the idea away only makes it harder to keep off your mind as your subconscious is afraid you will forget it and views it as important. I've also heard a similar practice when meditating; if you acknowledge your thoughts, then let them go, your brain will sweep them away and allow you to focus on your breathing. 

Key takeaways:

1) Write down your ideas to clear your mind for focus

2) Writing down your thoughts, acknowledges them, and files them away for later

3) Pushing the idea away only makes you want to think about it more

I just started reading 'The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People' by Steven Covey.

He speaks about the P/PC balance where you need to balance your production and your production capacity to allow them to work together. He gives the analogy of the golden goose a fable as a visual picture of what this looks like.

A farmer found a golden egg laid by one of his geese; after his initial shock and evaluation, he sold it and thought that was the end of it. However, the next morning he found another egg of solid gold, laid by the same goose. Morning after morning, this bird laid one golden egg, and the farmer quickly became rich. However, he became impatient with only getting one egg a day. He cut the goose open in an attempt to get all the eggs at once. Only to find that the goose had no eggs and now wouldn't produce anymore.

Product in p/pc would be the golden egg, and production capability would be the goose. You can't focus your efforts on only the result alone without running into problems with your production capacity to continue to produce it. On the other hand, you can't only focus on your production process; if not, you end up becoming the person who runs 3 hours a day bragging that they are adding 10 years to their life, not realizing they are spending the 10 years on running. 

Key takeaways:

1) You need to balance product & production capability balance or P/PC

2) Focusing only on your final product you will ruin what it took to get that product

3) Focusing only on your production capability works in a loop, spending more time on the system that the value that it could produce

Learn to spend your time on one subject at a time

I'm currently reading through the book 'The One Thing' by Gary Keller, where he speaks of only focusing on one task at a time. 

When we attempt to multitask two things at once, we do poorly at best and fail utterly at worst. We aren't designed to have our focus on two different things at once. 

In the book, Gary Keller says that the word multi-tasking originally came about when computers could do multiple tasks on the same processing unit. However, the term multitasking wasn't the right word for what it actually did. The computer couldn't actually do two tasks simultaneously; it would switch between two, giving the illusion of being able to work on two at the same time.

He talks about how there is always one most important thing to do, never two. He gives the example of his business where he had a meeting with his team, and they put together a list of 100 things that would put them on the map in their industry. The next day they narrowed this list down to 10 things, and finally, 1 single thing that they all agreed would work. That was writing an expert's handbook to the industry they were in. Because of that, they moved up to become one of the top names in the industry.

By focusing on one task at a time, we can move forward on our goals. We are not able to divide our focus into several areas and expect any half-decent results.

Looking at my own life, I've found I make amazing strides when I have no more than one big area I focus my complete efforts on.

Key takeaways:

1) When we divide our focus, we get poor results at best and complete failure at worst

2) Learning to focus your efforts on one area at a time will allow you to make greater strides

3) Multi-tasking is a myth and one that needs to be dispelled

Being so young, there isn't a whole lot of credibility I can use to get opportunities to serve and work for others.

However, one of the things I can work on, which will be more beneficial in the long run, is my reputation. 

I just finished reading Rabbi Daniel Lapin's book 'Thou Shall Prosper,' and if I had to sum it up in two words, it would be "Reputation matters." 

He says that building your credibility by being consistent and keeping to your word will build trust and will open more doors to you being in the right place at the right time. “One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much." Learning from a younger age to be faithful in all that I've been entrusted is difficult, but I know will pay great dividends!

'Your reputation proceeds you.'

I've learned that apart from being consistent in what I do, I need to be aware of what I say. I've found myself in many situations where I don't think about what I am saying I will do and then forget it. That denigrates my word, and I may not feel the ramifications immediately, but my word starts not to mean anything if I consistently do that.

It's forced me to plan that task into my schedule and set time aside for it specifically. I want to be known as someone reliable to his word. It's also helped me evaluate new tasks and not putting too much on my plate as I know it will mean I have to say no to something else. 

Key takeaways:

1) You don't have the experience, but you do have your reputation

2) Being consistent in your word and actions shows you to be reliable and trustworthy

3) Your reputation proceeds you

4) You have to plan out your commitments 

"Don't raise your child to be a good boy; raise him to be a good man." 

I heard this quote first from Rabbi Daniel Lapin, and it's one that's resonated with me greatly, and I've found it applies really well to my personal growth and learning.

There is no limit to the amount of information out there, and finding the right stuff is where it gets difficult.  I've found that through my own journey, the books I've struggled with the most to understand have been the most profitable. This is the primary reason why I wouldn't say I like books written specifically for teenagers. I find the concepts and ideas fundamental and not super helpful in the overall long term. I go about deciding to read a book written for my age category by asking one question. Would I read this if I was 60? If the answer is no, I probably won't read it. 

I am growing to become a good man, not a good boy. Reading material directed toward becoming a good man will have the side effect of making me a good young man. If it's not a timeless lesson, then it's not typically worth building. 

Key takeaways:

1) Grow to become a good man, not a good boy.

2) Learning from books that center around young growth will give you just that

3) Ask "Is this a book I would read at 60?" to determine if it's a good one to read

4) You want to learn timeless lessons, not new ones