Judge a book by it's cover
Earlier in the year, I had a conversation with my sister where I was excitedly discussing a new insight and victory I won in my head. She responded with something that really opened my eyes to a new concept I hadn't really thought about. She basically said that 'you may have won the battle in your head, but no one sees that.'
After mulling around with the idea, I came to realize for the first time that my self-inward battles didn't matter. It's what I did with them that made the difference. No one sees the inward fights; they only see what I produce on the outside. My actions were what mattered to those around me, not my intentions. If I failed regularly, and my intentions were good, that means squat to the person I failed.
I've found that you have to make the change outwardly for your battle to mean something to others. To make a bigger difference, I had to show who I had become because of it. I loved how Rabbi Daniel Lapin put it in his book 'Thou Shall Prosper' when speaking on this matter. He says that someone with ill intent to you accidentally aids you, you are in debt to them for the service. It doesn't matter that they intended to harm you.
A few months back, I was really wrestling with the problem of whether or not to volunteer at a Christian ministry, and my biggest question I was struggling with was my intention. Would it be good to serve others if I am doing it for myself? Who was I doing it for? Does it matter if I was going there for my own gain? And I've really come to realize that the intention is only between yourself and God; serving to grow myself may open me to serving for the sole purpose of serving God. We change, and our intentions don't matter as much as what we actually do.
1) Judge people on what they produce, not their intention
2) Intentions don't matter as much as what you actually do
3) Someone with ill intent toward you that does you a good deed by mistake, you are in their debt.