Friendships are Obligations - Thou Shall Prosper | What I Know Now 61

In the book "Thou Shall Prosper," Rabbi Daniel Lapin talks about forming friendships by creating ongoing obligations.

He says in Judaism, that 'friend' means indebtedness. Accepting gifts creates vulnerability; we are saying that the gift was something that we are better off with. You're admitting that you had a need when you say thank you. You're putting yourself in debt to them for receiving that gift. It puts you in a mind of wanting to repay it with a similar good deed. Creating this regularly sustains and nurtures a good friendship. 

Learning how to accept a gift is a skill to be learned. I've seen this many times in my own life where a compliment gets deflected, and I can unconsciously hear the receiver insulting the one giving the compliment by saying they don't know what they're talking about. 

Receiving a gift or service must be done with open arms, not shying away from what is given. When you fully receive a gift, you give honor to the one giving it and show that you are indebted to them. Saying that you are better off for what they did for you. 

Key takeaways:

1) Friendship & 'thank you' means indebtedness

2) Good friendships are built on a constant cycle of obligations

3) Learn how to receive a gift openly, not downplaying it